You think it’s cold now, wait till tomorrow

I woke up at 5:00am this morning, twenty minutes before my alarm was set to go off. I have taught myself to wake up in a panic by being late for most of high school and this was one of those kinds of awakenings. I searched for my cell phone because it is also my alarm clock and couldn't find it so I popped up and searched again and there it was; right where it was supposed to be. I knew this had ruined any chances of going back to sleep, but I laid back down anyway. I let a quickly retreating dream mingle with random music and a short list of things to do that was already being created by the responsible center in my brain. It was nice while it lasted except I never have good music in my head this early in the morning. Inevitably it is the Scooby Doo theme song or something by Gloria Estefan. I got up and began the odd task of dressing in layers. Two pairs of socks, sweat pants under my black slacks, two t-shirts and then a sweater. It took on the pacing of a lost ritual and sent my mind listing back to grade school days in Michigan. The thermometer outside my house said it was 32 degrees and that thing usually reads a little warm. I shuddered a bit at the knowledge of this. I reminded myself that I had actually walked to school through the snow and resolved to think all day about the secret pajama party that was hidden beneath the first layer of my outfit. That was the smile I needed and I tossed on some shoes and headed downstairs. I threw an assortment of food into my bag and put on coat, hats, and gloves then took the gloves back off so that I could grab my keys, set the alarm, and then lock the door. Then, I gave myself a standing dutch oven and cursed and laughed as I walked away, hoping that a brisk walk would dissipate my own foul smell. It did not. The cold was shocking to my senses and it reminded me that it has been a long time since I was in school. For a moment I was jealous of that younger me, so strong, so tough, so stupid. Then I remembered all of the baggage that came with being young and performed an internal nanny-nanny booboo for youth. The ducks gave me the aquatic fowl equivalent of a middle finger as I crested the hill overlooking the pond and I said, You think it’s cold now, wait till tomorrow. This did not please the crowd and there were various quacks and squawks that I will not repeat here.  The wind was at my back which I was thankful for and I made good time from point to point only really cold along the halo of face and neck that was left uncovered. I saw an old friend on the train but recognition came a second too late, so we didn’t speak even as we got off on the same stop. I’ve got a meeting set for late morning with the big boss to find out how long I can expect to remain employed. I feel calm in a way that reaffirms my luck and love. Work is quiet like a church whisper as I arrive and I peel off coat and hats and settle in to my pajama party day. I take care of all the work I need to do in less than thirty minutes and pilfer a cup from the coffee club’s private pot. I’ll bring some money tomorrow or the next day. I am a temporary man. I am a school boy. I am a thief. I am a gun. I am an early walker and a duck talker. I am the mc of a secret pajama jammy jam. If you are in a cubicle I am there beside you whispering memories of sunrises and summer breezes. There is more than this. I am the keeper of the map that leads to that. If you are reading this, then chances are I love you. Search for me and I will take you there. Know my smile. Good Morning