Scrolling

With thanks to Travis Bedard and Philip Glass - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx7EEQQNfDU
and part 2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGWpvXeQxrY

Please listen to the links while you read.

I am watching you
and the cascade of updates
I espy your hopes and pains
slide vertically by
and I'm in love with you
I have a crush on you
I'm still angry

This strained conversation
has re-awakened the child inside
long protected from failed dreams
kept ignorant and afraid

I wonder why I ever thought
that was safer

I am panicky
I am fictional
I am intimidated and inspired

You make your beautiful seem effortless
and far away

such ease

like having wings
or flowing downstream

I wish it

watching

a mad rush
a piano mimicking melancholy
and rain

the silent arpeggio of us

To talk of tears
is to turn some away

I know this

I refuse to control
what is natural to me

I miss you now

but
I have
welling in me
a madness of tears
that must be freed

each moment of empathy
opens and isolates

my chest a failing damn
my skull the weight of inevitability. . .

It has been years
since I have felt
this kind of cleansing coming

Last night
I was ready
but something small and silly held me back

so I just fell asleep
unfulfilled
twisted up like a memory

This morning
you have armored me

I am in a cubicle
Writing poetry

Amazing . . .

I think I have the strength
to finally fall apart

I will wait for the moon

watching the clock
and you

and you

and you